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Season 17: Episode 49
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Season 17: Episode 51

Holby City (1999)

Season 17: Episode 50

At First I Was Afraid

TMDb
5.8
Air Date:
2025-12-06
Genre
Soap Drama
Release Date
1999
End Date
2022
Episode Description
When Elliot's first love tumbles back into his life, Elliot makes a startling choice.
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Cast
Bob Barrett
David Ames
Rosie Marcel
Guy Henry
Jaye Jacobs
Episode 11
Snow Queens
Episode 12
Running the Gauntlet
Episode 13
China In Your Hands
Episode 14
My Hero
Episode 16
Love Thy Neighbour
Episode 17
Anger Management
Episode 18
Blue Valentine
Episode 19
Open Your Heart
Episode 20
No Credit, No Blame
Episode 21
What You Mean By Home
Episode 22
Too Much Monkey Business
Episode 24
Second Coming
Episode 25
Coming Second
Episode 26
Boy Valentine, Girl Valentine
Episode 27
Rebound
Episode 28
Crossing the Line
Episode 35
All About Me
Episode 38
Out on a Limb
Episode 39
Hand in Glove
Episode 40
Going It Alone
Episode 41
Sirens
Episode 42
Old Habits
Episode 43
Walk the Line
Episode 44
One of Those Days
Episode 46
Big Lies, Little Lies
Episode 47
Who Needs Enemies
Episode 48
Night Cover
Episode 49
Broken
Episode 50
Everything to Play For
Episode 51
Oliver Twists
Episode 52
PS Elliot
Episode 1
Keep On Keeping On
Episode 2
Culture Shock
Episode 3
Shame
Episode 4
Under The Skin
Episode 5
Devil in the Detail
Episode 6
No Shortcuts
Episode 7
See You on the Ice
Episode 8
The Hand That Bites
Episode 9
Personal Injury
Episode 10
Half Empty
Episode 11
Wise Men
Episode 12
When the Hangover Strikes
Episode 13
Hide Your Love Away
Episode 14
She's Electric
Episode 16
Here and Now
Episode 17
The Best Man
Episode 18
Awarded
Episode 19
What You Wish For
Episode 20
Fight the Good Fight
Episode 21
Fresh Blood
Episode 22
The Ties that Bind
Episode 23
Eastern Promise
Episode 24
Got No Strings
Episode 25
Throw in the Towel
Episode 26
Equilibrium
Episode 28
Half a Person
Episode 29
Coercion
Episode 31
Wolf's Clothing
Episode 32
Double Bubble
Episode 33
Kids' Stuff
Episode 34
Last Day on Earth
Episode 35
Unsafe Haven - Part 1
Episode 36
Unsafe Haven - Part 2
Episode 37
Long Way Down
Episode 38
Stepping up to the Plate
Episode 39
Only You
Episode 40
Last Man Standing
Episode 41
From Here to Maternity
Episode 44
You and Me
Episode 45
The Devil Will Come
Episode 46
Taxi for Spence
Episode 47
I'm Sticking with You
Episode 48
Devil's Dance
Episode 49
A Crack in the Ice
Episode 50
Hold On Me
Episode 51
Blood Money
Episode 52
When Sacha Met Chrissie
Episode 1
The Third Way
Episode 2
Chasing Demons
Episode 3
Follow My Leader
Episode 4
If Not For You
Episode 5
To Absent Friends
Episode 6
Hail Caesar
Episode 7
After the Party
Episode 8
How Lo Can You Go
Episode 9
Fault Lines
Episode 10
Through the Darkness
Episode 11
And We Banish Shade
Episode 12
Blood Ties
Episode 13
Hanssen/Hemingway
Episode 14
Push the Button - Part 1
Episode 15
Push the Button - Part 2
Episode 16
The Waiting Game
Episode 17
Spence's Choice - Part 1
Episode 18
Spence's Choice - Part 2
Episode 19
Ask Me No Questions
Episode 20
Unravelled
Episode 21
Recovery Position
Episode 22
Not Aaron
Episode 23
Holby's Got Torment
Episode 24
Journey's End
Episode 25
The End of the Beginning
Episode 26
Promises, Promises
Episode 27
Great Expectations
Episode 28
Second Life
Episode 29
Time Has Told Me
Episode 30
Only Human
Episode 31
The More Deceived
Episode 32
Divided We Fall
Episode 33
Back from the Dead
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Home
Episode 35
All Tomorrow's Parties
Episode 36
Follow the Yellow Brick Road
Episode 37
Break
Episode 42
Never Let Me Go
Episode 46
Good Day For Bad News
Episode 47
Point of Impact
Episode 49
Contra Mundum
Episode 50
Fredrik
Episode 51
The Cost of Loving
Episode 52
Like a Prayer
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If I Needed Someone
Episode 2
Friends Like You
Episode 3
Flesh Is Weak
Episode 4
Last Dance
Episode 5
Arthur's Theme
Episode 6
Merry-Go-Round
Episode 7
Sink or Swim
Episode 8
Fait Accompli
Episode 9
Heart of Hope
Episode 10
Father's Day
Episode 11
All I Want for Christmas is You
Episode 12
Ring in the New
Episode 13
Self Control
Episode 14
Intuition
Episode 15
Life after Life
Episode 17
Things We Lost in the Fire
Episode 18
Eat Your Heart Out
Episode 19
Aftertaste
Episode 20
Anything You Can Do
Episode 21
Instinct
Episode 22
Exit Strategy - Part One
Episode 23
Exit Strategy - Part Two
Episode 24
Green Ink
Episode 25
The Cruellest Month
Episode 26
The Win
Episode 27
Cold Heart, Warm Hands
Episode 28
Battle Lines
Episode 29
Wild Child
Episode 30
My Name is Joe
Episode 31
No Apologies
Episode 32
Keeping Mum
Episode 33
Crush
Episode 34
Collateral
Episode 35
Masquerade
Episode 36
Little Star
Episode 37
Every Dog Has Its Day
Episode 38
All Before Them
Episode 39
Captive
Episode 40
The Spirit...
Episode 41
A Heart Man
Episode 42
One Small Step
Episode 43
Affair of the Mind
Episode 44
Star Crossed Lovers
Episode 45
The Art of Losing
Episode 46
Going, Going...
Episode 47
The Looking Glass
Episode 48
Hoops
Episode 49
Forgive Me Father
Episode 50
Mummy Dearest
Episode 51
Inside Out
Episode 52
True Colours
Episode 1
The Sticky Mess of Being
Episode 2
Cover Up
Episode 3
Calling Time
Episode 4
What It Takes
Episode 5
Left Behind
Episode 6
Beneath the Cover
Episode 7
A Delicate Truth
Episode 8
In Which We Serve
Episode 9
Skin and Blister
Episode 10
Bad Blood, Fake Snow
Episode 11
Blue Christmas
Episode 12
Beginnings
Episode 13
Young Hearts, Run Free
Episode 14
The Hope That Kills
Episode 15
Sins of Our Fathers
Episode 16
Kiss and Tell
Episode 17
Serenity
Episode 18
A Partnership, Literally
Episode 19
All That Glitters
Episode 20
All Fall Down
Episode 21
One Under
Episode 22
On The Ropes
Episode 23
Where We Belong
Episode 24
Who You Are
Episode 25
A Friend in Need
Episode 26
Handle With Care
Episode 27
Dark Night of the Soul
Episode 28
Prioritise the Heart
Episode 29
Out of Sight Out of Mind
Episode 30
The Coward's Way
Episode 31
It Tolls For Thee
Episode 32
Running Out
Episode 33
When I Grow Up
Episode 34
The Sky Is Falling
Episode 35
I'll Walk You Home
Episode 36
Missing You Already
Episode 37
The Lone Ranger
Episode 38
Another Day in Paradise: Part One
Episode 39
Another Day in Paradise: Part Two
Episode 40
Children of Men
Episode 41
A Perfect Life
Episode 42
From Bournemouth with Love
Episode 43
Back in the Ring
Episode 44
Indefensible
Episode 45
Little Acorns
Episode 46
Fractured
Episode 47
Protect and Serve
Episode 48
Brave New World
Episode 49
Say a Little Prayer
Episode 50
Emotionally Yours
Episode 51
Life in the Freezer
Episode 52
Snakes and Ladders
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Into the Abyss
Episode 2
Rocket Man
Episode 3
Black Dog
Episode 4
Somebody to Love
Episode 5
Song of Self, Part One
Episode 6
Song of Self, Part Two
Episode 7
The Kill List
Episode 8
Parasite
Episode 9
Glass Houses
Episode 10
Hallelujah
Episode 11
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Episode 12
Just Get on With It
Episode 13
I Do, I Do, I Do
Episode 14
Aces High
Episode 15
Stick or Twist
Episode 16
Daylight
Episode 17
Of Lions and Lambs
Episode 18
Losing Game
Episode 19
Four Letter Word
Episode 20
What We Pretend to Be
Episode 21
The Price We Pay
Episode 22
Other People's Dreams
Episode 23
The Hangover
Episode 24
Growing Pains
Episode 25
Unbreakable
Episode 26
It's Only Love If It Hurts
Episode 27
Someone to Look After Me
Episode 28
Past Imperfect
Episode 29
Two Hearts
Episode 30
Gold Star
Episode 31
The Heart Is a Small Thing
Episode 32
Project Aurous
Episode 33
Enigma
Episode 34
Twist of the Knife
Episode 35
The Hard Way Home
Episode 36
For the Love of Maureen
Episode 37
For You May Be the Next to Die...
Episode 38
Paper Wishes
Episode 54
Thicker than Water
Episode 55
Things Left Unsaid
Episode 56
Know Yourself, Know Your Enemy
Episode 59
Hungry Heart
Episode 60
Hiding Places
Episode 61
Group Animal, Part One
Episode 62
Group Animal, Part Two
Episode 63
We Need to Talk About Fredrik
Episode 64
Always Forever
Episode 1
The Prisoner
Episode 2
Ready or Not
Episode 3
There by the Grace of...
Episode 4
Hanssen Is as Hanssen Does
Episode 5
One Day at a Time
Episode 6
Not Your Home Now
Episode 7
Precipice
Episode 8
Hard Day's Night
Episode 9
Ache
Episode 10
Square One
Episode 11
The L Word
Episode 12
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are – Part One
Episode 13
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are – Part Two
Episode 14
Tete a Tate
Episode 15
Tate Gallery
Episode 16
New Ain't All It's Cracked Up To Be
Episode 17
The Way We Were
Episode 18
Headstrong
Episode 19
Bubble Wrap
Episode 20
Blind Spot
Episode 21
Belonging
Episode 22
Only a Word
Episode 23
None but the Brave
Episode 24
Primum Non Nocere - Part One
Episode 25
Primum Non Nocere - Part Two
Episode 26
Fallen Idol
Episode 27
The Anniversary Waltz
Episode 28
Into the Light
Episode 29
The Friend Zone
Episode 30
Two for Joy
Episode 31
Child in Your Shadow
Episode 32
Bygones
Episode 33
Bargaining
Episode 34
All Business
Episode 35
Man Down
Episode 36
Keep Your Friends Close
Episode 37
All Lies Lead To The Truth
Episode 38
One Man and His God
Episode 39
Undoing
Episode 40
Inscrutable
Episode 41
The Three Musketeers
Episode 42
Stains
Episode 43
Too Good to Be True
Episode 44
The Family You Choose
Episode 45
Report to the Mirror - Part One
Episode 46
Report to the Mirror - Part Two
Episode 47
One of Us
Episode 48
Hold My Hand
Episode 49
Love Is
Episode 50
The Right Sort of Animal
Episode 51
Family Ties
Episode 52
Best Christmas Ever
Episode 1
Everything Old Is New Again
Episode 2
China Crisis
Episode 3
The Burden of Proof
Episode 4
A Daring Adventure or Nothing at All
Episode 5
Mad as Hell
Episode 6
Force Majeure
Episode 7
Good Side
Episode 8
Never Say Never
Episode 9
Guts
Episode 10
Powerless
Episode 11
A Simple Lie, Part 1
Episode 12
A Simple Lie, Part Two
Episode 13
Running
Episode 14
Ask No Questions
Episode 15
The Family Way
Episode 16
North and South
Episode 17
Pleased to Meet You
Episode 18
Vinegar and Honey
Episode 19
Ex Marks the Spot
Episode 20
The Wrong Horse
Episode 21
Unredeemed
Episode 22
Bloodline
Episode 23
In the Right Place
Episode 24
Over My Dead Body
Episode 25
Pigeon
Episode 26
Kiss Kiss
Episode 27
Flying Solo
Episode 28
Reckless
Episode 29
Honeymoon
Episode 30
Don't Leave Me
Episode 31
Things My Mother Told Me
Episode 32
When Worlds Collide
Episode 33
Work-Life Balance
Episode 34
Where Does It Hurt?
Episode 35
Babysitters and Bystanders
Episode 36
The Perfect Storm
Episode 37
Gods and Monsters
Episode 38
Circle of Life
Episode 39
Retreat
Episode 40
Divine Justice
Episode 41
This Be the Verse
Episode 42
Hope is a Powerful Drug
Episode 43
Promise
Episode 44
Hubble Bubble
Episode 45
Remember, Remember
Episode 46
Sandra's Choice
Episode 47
We Are All the Stars
Episode 48
Blurring the Lines
Episode 49
Bell Jar
Episode 50
Kintsugi
Episode 51
Lemons
Episode 52
Be True, Be Brave, Be Kind
Episode 53
Mothers and Their Daughters
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